Day 27 - September 28, 2011

I wonder if that whole "Mayan calendar, end-of-the-world" thingy is just in the America's? Whew! Sure dodged that bullett by moving to Saudi... LOSERS!!!

Okay, all kidding aside. Got paid today. It is such a good feeling, you know, getting paid. It's like, "Hey man, I know we beat the snot out of ya' and dragged ya through the mud, but here's a couple of bucks to tide you over. Go get yourself cleaned-up." Whatever, I got paid, yo!

I was told that I'd get my Iqama today. Heh heh, just the fact that I was told that I would get it today should have been a clear message that I would NOT get it today. I.B.M. That is that accronym that you have to remember in Saudi. It stands for the following:

I = Insha-Allah (God-willing you will get it tomorrow)

When that doesn't happen...

B = Bookrah (Tomorrow, come back tomorrow)

When THAT doesn't happen...

M = Ma salaat (After the next prayer)

When that, too, fails, get yer fightin' gloves on, cause it's gonna get messy.

So yeah, remember I.B.M., it is more than a forgotten computer company, it's a Saudi way of life. I was supposed to get paid four days ago, mind you. Once I get that Iqama, though, I actually become a real boy, just like Pinocchio. I kind of feel bad bringing her over, though. I mean, right now she's living the life with her mom and siblings, chilling in her home town, driving my car around, bumming money from the folks, just doing whatever. Guess what babe, things are about to change.

She's about to have to live in a huge apartment (much smaller than her house, though) where we have only one air-conditioner. Sleep on a single bed, for at least a month when I can get paid again. Eat food that we can make with hot water or in a rice-cooker. Clean the rest of this apartment with me. Start working again (heh heh, she thinks it's going to be easy working with these savages that Saudi's call children).

Oh yeah, things are about to change.

Message to my honey:

|Dear Wifey,
I am so sorry, in advance, about the COMPLETE change of life-style that you are about to face here. The last time you were in Jeddah you were just a kid, now you are all grown-up and you don't get to be the bad kid anymore, you get to babysit the bad kids. Every single one of these evil little devil-children will remind you of just how bad you were as a little girl, and maybe you will realize that karma really is a B%&@#. When you are not eating rice and grape leaves (for this first month), or some Ramen-noodle wanna-be, or flavorless, soul-sucking oatmeal, you may eat the one-Riyal falafals 'till you burst. Enjoy the cold showers (great during the day but not so much fun during the night) untill we get that hot water heater. Enjoy pouring your every drop of water from a jug that I bought down the street. Oh, have fun talking to our haris, who hates me! But fret not, my darling, for you have the next month to look forward to, when, Insha-Allah we will BOTH be getting paid, and then Bookrah we will have more money, and then Ma salaat we will have a better life. Just one looong, arduous, indignant, month. I love you, sweety.
-- Bill,

Day 21 - 22 September

Holy crap!! I've been here for three weeks now. (Editor's note: holy crap is either from the holy cow or the holy mackerel. It is assumed that the holy cow is the more likely suspect, as mackerel crap is really small, but studies continue).

 

Yesterday I decided to expand from my one room w/ bathroom into my much larger home... but it needs to be cleaned. I also wanted to clean the bathroom right next to the room in which I typically reside. However, I would need to seal off the light socket to avoid electrocution, and in the other rooms I would need to seal off the hole in the wall meant for the air conditioners (or more dust would continue to enter). For any project from this point on, I would require plastic garbage bags and (the American dream) duct tape!!

 

Ooooh, duct tape.

 

I walked to the nearest store to get my supplies. The garbage bags were easy, unfortunately I couldn't find duct tape, or any other kind of tape for that matter. Seriously, not even Scotch tape. What the heck? This would prove to be problematic as I do not know the word for tape in either Arabic or Bangla. Seriously, my Arabic is horrible, and what little Arabic that I do know is almost useless as there are few Saudis in Jeddah and this city, therefore, has a ridiculous slang. Case-in-point, "maa" is the Arabic word for water, but in Jeddah, all the foreigners say "moyah". What the hell is that? What's moyah? Ang God forbid I say maa' because they will look at me like I grew a second cranium. Even a simple word like "yes", they find a way to screw that up. The Arabic word for yes is "na'am", but not in Jeddah. Here they say "Aiwah"; are you friggin' kidding me? It's bad enough that I have to master my Arabic conversationally, but learning this slang to survive is like having to learn two separate languages on-the-spot.

 

Actually, I've been cheating a lot because I am fairly conversational in Bangla, and there are a LOT of Bangladeshi's here in Jeddah (I think they've been messing up the Arabic on me...). Anyway, knowing Bangla didn't help me a lick because I don't know the word for tape in Bangla. How the heck do you describe tape here? Or anywhere? Go ahead, stop reading this for a moment and think about how you would describe tape to someone who doesn't understand English. Now up the ante a bit and try explaining "duct tape" of all things.

 

What's that, you sympathize with me now?

 

Okay, so I grab this Bangladeshi guy (no really) I grabbed his shoulder and walked him with me) and showed him a tube of glue. I said (in English) "glue" and then I touched my index finger and thumb together quickly and slowly pulled them apart and said "sticky". So far he's with me. Then I put my index fingers and thumbs from both hands together and slowly pulled them apart and said "tape" and made a sticking motion with the phantom tape.

 

I must have grown a second cranium right there because I knew that confused look.

 

He tried walking away but I grabbed him again (I'm very hands-on) and I did the motions again. He was about to walk and then he stopped. I swear to God All-mighty that I saw a friggin' lightbulb pop over this dudes head when he ran over and pointed to a whole box full of masking tape and duct tape. Wow, good thing I had all that practice playing "Itsy-bitsy Spider" growing-up. I got lucky that there was duct tape there because I couldn't imagine going through that process again for the gray stuff, but I guess God had enough fun laughing at my expense for the day.

 

With this great feat I needed a nap. Later I went out and got two sconces (probably misspelled, but they are the lights that you can put on a wall). I also got some silicone and the gun to use it, a couple of curtain rods, a few towel racks, too. The problem is that I don't have a drill. Yeah, I remembered that I actually need to have a drill for all my concrete walls or my screws and nails ain't going nowhere. Meh, if I can't borrow one then I'll just buy one, whatever. This place is coming along just fine.

-- Bill,

Back in Action

As you have noticed, I have been missing in action, MIA, while Bill has been posting away. Well, I`m not in Saudi yet. I am currently happily residing (stuck) in Toronto. In truth though, separation has been hard and Skype has been a blessing. We talk every day, for several hours mostly. But of course it is never enough. Other than that, I have been enjoying a needed quality time with my family.

I play chauffeur most of the time. I also go to the gym. I considered working here in Toronto while waiting for the Iqama, but I just feel too weird about starting working for someone and then leaving them in a month or two. Just seems dishonest. Bill says that I could be there in a little over a month. So I am praying for that.

Bagel and Angelo, our cats, have adjusted really well to the move from Jersey. They`re chilling with my family. Bagel, the older cat, I believe is harbouring some resentment towards me. Home girl was my buddy before, and now she won`t even come to me or cuddle with me. But no…. She is super friendly with everyone else at home. Ughh! Bill believes that the cat thinks I killed him and stuck his voice in a box, (the computer). LOL. Well, I`m hoping that the move to Saudi won’t be too hard on them. The process to get them there is a mission and half. I`ll keep you guys updated on that.

Ta ta for now.

--Warda

Day... Something

Sorry, been a bit neglectful of this journal.

Okay, I'm just getting over the flu. Yeah, that little influenza mother (cencered) exists here, too. Some little kid sneezed directly in my left eye as I turned to look at him. His survival is proof of my kindness to children. Meanwhile, I went to work yesterday despite my illness and I realized for the first time that school halls in Jeddah are much like the halls in Jersey, that is to say, very spacious. It was for this reason that I was able to lean against the wall as I walked. A really cool difference between the walls in Jersey verses Jeddah is that our walls are concrete, and thus, very cool. Teacher and child alike cast odd looks at the tall bearded white man leaning his sweaty forehead against the cool, concrete walls, talking to the walls as if they were alive, in fact, thanking the walls for being so cool to the touch.

"Oh yes wall, only you understand the pain that I am in."

Still, I am one tough s.o.b., so I pushed through all of my classes without having to yell once, because I used my hate-filled look of promised death on my students. Promised death, that is, because it would be a while before I could cash in on that death, I was way too sick to properly beat one of these crazy kids at the time; they run fast. Eight periods in the work day and the seventh period was my last on duty. So I grab my giant sized 2.5 litre bottle of 7up and head for the most comfortable chair in the teachers room. On my way, I feel this strange tugging on my left arm. I'm really knowledgeable, but my mind was sluggish, so at first I thought that I might be having a heart-attack. Me? I'm the epitome of good health (minus the flu). I reassesed and looked down and realized that it was not a heart-attack, but rather, it was a second-grader.

Yeah, there was a second-grader who intercepted me coming from my third-grade class, holding my 7up bottle with a two-fisted deathlock. Dude, this kid was strong, like he had the G.I. Joe kung-fu grip!! I say, "What the hell?" (I am a teacher, I never said I was a good teacher. Besides, this little runt wasn't my student... so screw im') He says, "Teacher! I want seven." Processing the events as they unfold, I understand that this kid wants my soda. "Teacher! Teacher! I want seven!"

Man, these little Saudi kids are so freakin' spoiled that they don't understand the idea that wanting is not enough to warrent getting. My response is neither educating nor kind when I say, "And?" The kid doesn't get it. He looks at me like I just slapped his mother and repeates himself again, "Teacher! I want seven!" I do a quick visual check to ensure that this kid isn't packing heat, because I'm from Jersey and I figure that this kid might pull a pistol and just flat-out mug me in the hallway. The kid's clean though, so I get a little braver and I say, "Boy. If you don't get yer hands off my soda then I'm going to rain a whole world of pain on yer fuzzy little head."

Some English translates better than others... he let go.

I can never believe all the stories that I hear about the kids RULING Saudi. Man, I remember my father walking into the house when I was three. We were living in Keansburg and he left before I woke-up and he came home kind of late, too late to watch my cartoons with me. This one time he came home and said, "I have something for you." Well, since he wasn't taking off his belt when he said it I figured that it wasn't a beating so I was naturally curious. He told me this story about him meeting Spider-man on the way home from work and getting into a fight with him and beating him up. Okay, Spidy was my hero and you're beating him up, way to make me endeared to you dad, can't wait to see where you take this story. So he tells me that he promised to let Spider-man go if he gave my father one of his gloves. So dad pulls this cheap plastic glove from behind his back and hands it to me. It was obviously a poorly manufactured marketing product with that crappy paint on that back (the kind that peels off the second you crinkle it) in a faximilated Spider-man pattern.

Hey, it was a toy and it was for me and I wasn't expecting it. From that point on I figured that there was no earthly reason for dad to leave the house other than to bring me gifts, just like that little Saudi kid. The difference was that I grew out of it the very next day when pops came home and my dumb ass asked, "So dad, what'd you get me today?" I remember running very near the speed of light in the opposite direction of my fathers shouting that I was an ungrateful little something or other. Maybe my threat to that little Saudi kid, yesterday, had a similar effect on his maturity.

Maybe I'm not such a bad teacher after all. I should start beating my students...
-- Bill,

14 September - Day 13

Today was a funny day (in retrospect). I started a bit of a controversy in school because yesterday I had asked the father of one of the kids to come in with his mother to hang in my class and see why his kid is not doing so well so that we can all find out how to help the child. Well, one of the VP's came into my class and asked me to walk up front with him. He asked, "Did you say that a mother could come into the school and into your classroom?" I told him that I did and this dude said, "But brother, do you know that she is a woman?" I had to stifle a laugh but I said that, even though I didn't see her yet that I assumed that she was, in fact, a female.

I got read the riot act on how women are not allowed in sections where men are and that this is not a school rule but a national rule. I laughed and said that I didn't realize that. No harm done, but it's a shame because this chick was so decked out that she looked like a friggin' ninja with her black clothes and her dark, bug-shaped sunglasses.

Oh well, it is not a Muslim rule, just a Saudi Arabian culture rule. Every country has their fair share of rules, and some of them may seem ridiculous to an outsider, but we all have several rules that we cannot stand in our own countries. This is just something that I have to get used to.

I took a nap after school for a few hours until it got dark (I usually do this because it's hot) and then I took a walk to my new apartment. It's less than a kilometer away so it is walking distance during the day... I'll know that for next time. Anyway, I bought a broom on the way there so that I could sweep out the new place before the exterminator gets there tomorrow, then I'll clean the rest of the apartment after they're gone. I am sweeping for no more than ten minutes when there is a knock on my door. My first guests? It's the haris (the groundskeeper) and he asks if I'd like for him to clean my apartment. Um, no, I'm an American, I do these things for myself. I kick him out so that I can keep cleaning because it's a fairly big place and I don't want to be there all night. I was there all night.

I have a pile of garbage that I want to throw out. Now, I took my shirt off because it was friggin' hot. I went outside and the haris and his friend are looking at me like "what is this shirtless American doing out here holding all that garbage in his hands?" Hmm. So, with my lack of conversational Arabic, I try asking him where the garbage is. He no speakee English. He tries asking me what I want. I no speakee Arabic.

I knew this would be fun.

I start saying "garbage" in every language that I can think of except Arabic, because that's the one language that I need right now. He's still looking at me like I have two heads. I'm making hand gestures of throwing something away, he doesn't get it. I show him what is obviously a handful of garbage, he just stares at me. What does he thing I want to do with this trash; cook it? I huff and I make the gesture again and now it clicks. He says the word, but I can't get it through his thick Moroccan accent, and points down the block about thirty meters. I thank him (I know how to say that) and try to walk but he grabs my arm and gestures and says something that basically means that he will take my trash out? I asked "Why?" and proceeded to throw out my trash.

I go back in and finish sweeping and I realize that I didn't bring a dustpan. Oops. So I sweep the dirt out to the vestibule and down the three stairs and onto the walkway and around the ben and to the gate where the haris and his friend are. The haris sees me and walks up, again indicating that he wants to do this.He doesn't take the hint very well because he tries grabbing my broom. Um, dude, this is my broom, get your own. So I have like 12 more sweeps before I'm finished and this little dude is trying to take my broom and sweep my dirt and I'm trying to get around this non-hint-taking-Moroccan when he accidentily pushes the broom right into the side of my eye. Ouch. Just ouch.

Of course I didn't say ouch, I yelled and held my eye and punched the wall next to me and the haris jumps back and his friend yelps and I turn around, this huge, shirtless American with a broom and a squinty eye and I yell "Just back-off man!!!" Yeah, now he got the hint. I toweled-off and replaced my shirt and when back out to see them by the gate (were they a little nervous?) and try to explain that things are different in America. I needed some time to get used to someone trying to do things for me, and the idea of me trusting someone else to do what I want done the right way. This isn't the military, there aren't any consequences for someone failing me, so I'd rather just do things on my own. At least until I ask for help.

By-the-way, my eye is fine.

September 13 - Day 12

Oh yeah!!! Just went out and bought a new key for my new door. Boo-yah!!! (that's a happy sound). I'm going to get an exterminator in there just in case (for what I don't see). After that, I move in. Found a little Indian resturant and ate (a lot) for less that 10 Riyals $3. Got to feed a cat, too; cute little orange tabi. Afterwards I went for a stroll around a small mart of the city (Salamah District) and didn't get lost. Walked into a few shops and browsed, just to kill time. It was a nice walk, can't wait till I can take the walk with my wife and visit some of these places with my daughters.

I'm telling you, kids absolutely rule here. Everywhere you go there is a video game store or a place to play or an indoor or outdoor playground. The kids have it made here.
-- Bill,

12 September - Day 11

BANG!!! I got my apartment. Everything is so personal here. Want an example? I got an apartment without a credit check (what's a credit check?) for 12,500 Saudi Arabian Riyals every six months. I only had 12,400 on me and wanted to keep 2,000 so that I can buy some basics until I get my pay at the end of the month. In Saudi, you deal with the owner directly, (or his immediate assistant manager). I spoke with this guy, a man from the Qurashi tribe, (same tribe that the Prophet Muhammad was from) and asked if I could just pay 10,000 and owe him the rest until the end of the month. Without a second thought he agreed and had me write the contract (since I wouldn't understand the Arabic very much) and handed me a copy. I gave him the money, he gave me a recipt for the money that I gave him and he gave me the key. Oh yeah! Try making life that simple in America.

Tomorrow I will begin the preparations of moving in: hiring an exterminator (just in case), getting an air conditioner and a mini-fridge, and a mattress. The rest I will buy when my wife gets here.
-- Bill,

September 11 - Day 10

Wow, 9/11 right? In case anyone is wondering, there are no parties or cheering going on over here. I came to an almost shocking conclusion... nobody cares. And is that so wrong? What do we care about explosions or murders or terror attacks or whatever when they happen in another country? Sure, if another country's tragedy even makes it on our news station; how long do we remember it for. You may think that you remember a lot of tragedies, but can you place a date on a single one of them? Didn't think so.

Anyway, today was the second day of school. Man, these kids are learning more about respect everday.(because I am teaching them ;-) It's cool, I got three pieces of candy today as gifts. Awesome right? Yeah, I also get hugs often. As usual, you have to remind the kids that you care, that you're not just there for a paycheck, and then they "get it".

I finally got my advance today so I was able to get a reservation on an apartment. This place is huge! Two bedrooms with a gigantic kitchen. I will be paying the equivilent of 555 dollars per month. So far so good. I mean, life is pretty smooth here. I hope it stays the same. Remember, my wife and I are doing this blog because we want to be as informative as we can be so that anyone else who wants to move to Saudi will have a little more help than we had. Living is good here: inexpensive, layed back, and pretty smooth. I can't wait for the day that someone tells me that our blog helped someone get to Saudi. We could be neighbors.
-- Bill,

Sept 10 - day 9

First day of school. I started with an assembly to welcome back the children. I got my third grad class and started playing with them immediately. They laughed and had some fun as I cracked jokes on them and on myself. I lined them up and walked them into class. I was supposed to deliver an English lesson, followed by math, followed by anther English class. Rather, I had my Two English classes and skipped math in lieu of a break from the redundancy and we walked to the stage area so the kids could play. It was a great release for them and we bonded a whole lot better for it.

 

They kept asking me to play soccer with them upstairs in the gym but I had to deliver a social studies class instead. In between those classes I was asked to interview a child and father to see if his son was apt enough for my English class. I told the father to beat it and I went for a walk with the kid asking him his name and his favorite sports and what he likes to watch on TV. I asked him what color his favorite cartoons were and he answered just fine. I told him to go tell his father that he was going to be in my class tomorrow. His father was really happy.

 

Then I had to substitute for a sixth grade class... who calls out on their first day?

 

I got some gifts: two Qur'ans in small wooden boxes; they were beautiful.

 

The kids were great and I only had to raise my voice once. Man, that's great for any third grader the world over. I focused on respect the majority of the day and reminded them of the benefits of mutual respect. Can't wait till tomorrow. I gave them the homework assignment of figuring a subject that they can teach us all about that will take approximately 5 minutes.

-- Bill,

Day 7 - Sep 8

Sorry I missed yesterday, it was just a boring day. I pretty much just sat at home relaxing, catching up on some sleep after the jet-lag. Today, after school, I walked with two of my co-workers to their apartments to ask the Haris (grounds-keeper or building manager) about availability. Nothing available. The funny part is that I walked the whole way in my Stacy Addams dress shoes and the heels melted off, lol!

This weather (heat) makes you lazy. It's no wonder that everyone is so relaxed here. If you walk up to someone, even a college, and try to talk with a sense of urgency, you will meet with resistance. You kind of have to give a cool greeting and relax with the guy, ask about his family, chill a bit, and then ask for the work to be done. Living here, when you get accustomed to it, is a great lace to avoid stress. God-willing.
-- Bill,

September 6 - Day 5

Gonna be a short one.

 I had a meeting and some inventory of books at school, had my medical examination postponed till tomorrow. I left work and wet out with a few new friends (colleagues) and one of them (with an Iqama already) bought me a USB with 10 Gigs of Internet access per month. 180 sr (Saudi Riyals) for the usb and 50 per month thereafter. Ya, make friends here. I went home and slept a bit; turns out I still have allergies here somehow. I woke-up at seven and went out apartment hunting. Found out that the better apartments and cheaper prices will be 20-30 minutes away from my school. I got some kebabs and a donut while I was out and came home to eat, fix up my Internet, talk to my wife on Skype (yay) and play online for a while. Now I have to be up in an hour and I am exhausted. Phew. G' nite all.

-- Bill

5 September - Day 4

First day of school. Wow, what a rush. Turns out that I will be teaching the third grade instead of the first grade. It's all good; it's nice to know that they have that kind of confidence in me. On my end, I know that I can do the work and get the kids to learn, God-willing.

I started the Iqama process today. That is the process where I will be sponsored by the school to stay in the country and bring my family (and my cats) over. It also allows me to get a bank account and my medical insurance (which is totally free, woo-hoo).

Basically, I will work from 6:45 AM - 1:45PM. For the mathematically challenged that means that I will be working seven hours the entire day and all the rest of the time is mine. I get to grade homework and do lesson plans during free periods, so I never have to take my work home with me.

The jet lag is finally wearing off and I am feeling really sleepy, that's good if I slow down enough to actually sleep. I had to run out and buy a new alarm clock because the American clock that I bought couldn't handle the power outage here. Advice to those who plan on making a trip to a Middle Eastern country... pack light. I wasted time bringing that alarm clock. I brought a George Foreman grill, too and that will probably break a few minutes after I plug it in. You're better off saving the luggage space and just buying all new stuff over here. Just like my cellphone incident earlier, I wasted time and effort bringing my other two cellphones here because the American stuff is not made to work over here or even be compatible. The non-American stuff allows the flexibility of interchangeable simcards that are very inexpensive.

Lesson learned.

Another lesson learned today is that I can make whatever process I am doing here (as a foreigner) much faster if I care 6-8 extra passport photos on my person at all times. In order to do the medical evaluation over her for the Iqama, I needed 8 more photos of my oh-so-sexy self. Gonna have to do this for my driver’s license, too. Oh yes, Saudi Arabia, the land where you don't need headlights or blinkers, just a horn. The land where a full tank of gas is #3 and car insurance is $25 a year.

Speaking of cars, it is odd to me that pedestrians do not have the right of way here. People are in a rush (almost as much as they are in Canada) and they will slow down if you were crossing the street already, but don't expect them to stop or swerve too much if you try to cross in front of them.

Laterz.

--Bill

4 September - Day 3

Ugg, only my third day and I already had a bad day! I decided to go out midday today with my Chicago roommate and found that most of the stores we wanted weren't open. The sweat running down my back informed me as to exactly why the stores aren't open midday. Man, it was friggin' hot.

There was a bookstore open. I'll tell you what, anyone who loves or hates the Twilight series would join together in laughter seeing all four books completely in Arabic in this place. I saw the Wall Street Journal and about 700 of our American newspapers and magazines. It is back to school season and my roomie and I were laughing at all the Saudi's with their kids doing their back-to-school shopping in the stationary aisles. It still shocks me, although I was told to expect it, that there are some women here who simply do not respect the religious idea of modesty and they actually walk around uncovered. It's funny because at home in the States it's the covered women who attract the most attention but it is the exact opposite here. We had to keep reminding ourselves that it is rude to stare, lol.

I made another mistake of rushing out the door with a bottle of water but not eating anything. My roomie went to a Baskin' Robins and grabbed a butter pecan ice cream but, as I said in yesterday's post, I am refraining from eating at American restaurants for a while so that I can absorb the culture better. Unfortunately I had a problem (once again) communicating. The people were nice, as usual, but they still couldn't understand me so I was unable to exchange the rest of my non-Saudi currency. I went all over to different areas with my roomie and taught him the fine art of negotiating for cab rides... he was grateful enough to opt into paying for all of our cabs today (real nice considering we only shopped for him today, lol).

All joking aside, it was hot. Funny that I am not burning even though I forgot to put on sunscreen (again). When we finally got home I was starving (not literally). I didn't eat all day and I needed to eat. We went upstairs (why did they put us on the fourth floor?) carrying all this stuff (ironing board, pots, and miscellaneous stuff) when my key broke in the door. Wow, that was not cool. I was thwarted in my attempt to kick down the durned door because roomie thought we would get in trouble, so we had to wait for an hour for these five guys to come over and break the lock off. It wasn't until that moment that I came to respect just how hot this place can get. What I don't get is why they have locks on the doors anyway. I can't tell you how many times in the past few days we have left our stuff (sometimes expensive stuff) just lying on the side of the street while we go in a store or go off to pray and we come back to find our things completely unscathed. Try that anywhere else in the world.

So we finally got in and I got my two hours of sleep for the day (this jet lag is killing me).

After a quick call to my wife I learned a couple more Arabic words (food-related words) and was able to buy some food all on my own and without any pictures or sound effects (ever make a chicken noise to tell someone what you wanted to eat? Then you haven't lived yet, lol).

Tomorrow is the first day of work and that should be a good thing because I will find out more about where I get to live and what I get to teach. No curse words for these kids... I promise

--Bill

September 3 Day 2

Okay, the jet lag was insane. I was up all night talking to my Roommate when I started dosing around 2PM. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I have an air conditioner in my room and a nice single bed with linens and a warm blanket (like I need it). Still, I tossed and turned and sleep avoided me. I got a little sleep when I woke-up at 4AM, darn-it.

 I went out to the masjid to pray and came back shortly thereafter but I couldn't get to sleep until about seven AM. It's funny because I looked at the clock around then and realized that it was only midnight back home on the east coast and my wife was probably still awake, but the phone booth place was likely not open that early and I had no phone. I went to sleep resolved that I was going to get a phone today. I woke-up around 11AM and my roomie was on the phone with the VP of my school. He asked if I could drive out to see him and I jumped at the opportunity. How else, I thought, am I ever going to get used to this place if I can't talk to a taxi driver?

 I went out and got in a taxi (yes, they are more readily available here than in NYC) and immediately asked him what my address is. You see, my building has a number, but no one uses street signs (good luck even finding a street sign) so people and taxies use landmarks. He told me and then I asked him how much it would be to go to the landmark near my school. 15 Saudi Riyals. I was told that the average price is 10, but this is tourist season so I'm okay with the price, besides, it only equates to like $3.00 American.

 I got to my school, walked around a little and talked to the VP. Boring stuff really, he's a cool guy but that's not why you're reading this blog.

 I left the school and went for a ride into town, just somewhere dead in the middle of busy city life... didn't have to go far. I went to this chicken restaurant and the food was slamming! Just like the chicken at home with cole slaw and fries. Meh, it was good stuff, but I immediately resolved to stop eating like I do at home and start eating more local stuff. I saw a pet store with some sweet looking birds and wandered into a "souk" (a mini indoor mall). I walked around all over and finally found this Bangladeshi dude who sold me a Nokia for about $35 American (150 Riyals). I slipped in my sim card and started making calls immediately. Finally, I was back in communication with my peeps (see = loved ones).

 I actually brought two cell phones from America, but neither worked at all here and one didn't even come with a sim card. I wonder how many Americans even know what a sim card is; I didn't until I started talking with Canadians. Basically, changing a sim card for a local card gives you access to your cell phone in other countries, but America is such a greedy cesspool of bastards that they make non-American sim cards unusable in their phones. I could take a Canadian, UK, or Egyptian phone and replace the sim card to make calls in any other country with the same phone, but not American phones. Thanks Capitalism.

 I called my wife and talked with here over several calls, trying to get the best possible reception for future calls to loved ones, for an hour and a half and then went outside.

 I am mobile now and less afraid to venture out further. I took a taxi back home and then went outside and walked all the way down my street. It's funny watching the stray cats just chill out right in front of you; unless you look at them and then they run away. I went to a much further phone booth store (I like calling them that) and called my daughters for a while. Called mom too but she didn't pick-up... I love you mom.

 I figure I'll try and get a Shawarma before I go home as they are as local as local food gets in Saudi.

--Bill

September 1 - 2 Day One

The Jet ride here began as a mess. I had to go immediately through customs so I could not give a cool farewell to my wife. I suppose it saved on all the wet mushy crying stuff, but sometimes that stuff is cool. I got on my flight from Canada to JFK and had a four hour wait till my connecting flight to Jeddah. The wait was annoying because I was afraid to spend any money on food, but I was really hungry. I had a can of cashews but I only dared to eat a few because I had no water on my, and I am far too germ-o-phobic to drink from a public water fountain.

 The flight on Saudi Arabian Airlines made up for it.

 When I got on the plane I was ushered back to coach. I was able to secure a front row seat and that helped greatly because my legs weren't fitting in any other coach seat. I sat next to a couple with an infant, but the flight attendants were so studious that they brought a crib for the kid that attacked to the wall and kept bringing foods and formulas for her, too. I had to wait until we lifted off, praying that food and water would come soon, because the Delta flight that I had gotten off of was cramped, dirty, and didn't offer me more than a cup of soda and a couple of biscotti’s. I was disappointed when all I got on the Saudi plane was a single date (the fruit) and the offering of some coffee. I was just about to complain when the stewardess brought this huge cart and asked if I wanted the chicken, the beef, or the fish. I asked for the beef and got this huge meal filled with beef strips, rolls, salads, vegetables, potatoes and real silverware. Wow.

I got some tea afterwards and another offering of coffee (I don't do coffee). I watched the guy next to me pull out a TV screen from under his seat. "Did you bring that or something?) I asked. He laughed, reached around me and pulled out my screen. Dud, we're in coach and we get our own TV's. Not junk on the TV's either. We have our choice of Arabic movies or TV series, Indian Bollywood movies, or American movies new and old. I watched Avatar, The Adjustment Bureau, Bangkok Dangerous, and something else that I fell asleep during. A flight attendant came up to me and offered me a buffet in the back of the plane where I got a cheese sandwich and a can of Pepsi. I asked if I can and another sandwich and she stuffed two more in my hand trying to make me eat. Wow. I also saw a room in the back of the plane just for people to pray in. I took a little nap and got awoken by a stewardess asking me if I wanted an omelet, scrambled eggs, or a cinnamon bun. Where the heck was I? I asked for the scrambled eggs and got this huge breakfast with a croissant and veggies and potatoes. Man, I need to get back on that flight! Best plane ride ever.

 I arrived and had smiling security guards guiding us to customs. Yeah, they smiled. Even the customs agent was cool, laughing at my jokes and what not. I almost smack the American customs guy for being so rude to me the day before but decided not to since he and his friends have guns. No guns on these security guards. I was a little taken aback by what I read on the customs form, "If you illegally transport drugs and are convicted then it is punishable by death." I took a mental step back by that, but later I read my passport and it stated simply that convicted or not, in America, you will do jail-time and be fined for drug possession, even if it was planted on you. How rude.

I walked out of customs and was greeted by a dude who recognized my face from my passport photo. He worked at the school that hired me and came to pick me up. I was disappointed that he was not carrying a sign with my name on it... oh well. We exchanged a little of my currency at the airport and then walked outside. Meh, the heat in early September was nothing too bad. Granted, I know a lot of wussies who would probably cry about it, but I dealt with worse in the Army and in Florida and New Mexico.

 I was driven back to my place and I met my new roommate, a guy from Chicago. His accent is similar to the Asbury Park accent; we got along immediately. The two of us and our guide went to a "souk" (a small market) and bought a few essentials and some food for the apartment. We came home and our guide left back to his place. My roomie and I went out and walked around Jeddah for a bit. I was surprised that we could pray anywhere (aside from the middle of the road). I didn't have to worry about people's blood pressure rising just because I was praying. That the biggest difference that I noticed.

 We went to an Internet cafe (where I am now, too) and to a place with a bunch of phone booths. I was able to call home for only about 12 cents per minute; really good price. The people, even though my Arabic is horrible, were really patient with me. It was cool because at one point I was talking to a store employee asking about the price for something. We couldn't understand anything the other was saying, but my roomie intervened and helped out (he speaks Arabic way better than me). The guy said to my roomie, "You know, if your friend (me) can get along so well here without knowing Arabic then I can get along well in America without knowing English. When it was translated to my I laughed but I knew that wasn't the case. Here is this kid talking about visiting America and thinking that we would be even a fraction as hospitable to him as they all are to me. Really sad.

--Bill

Up-dates

So our relocation to Saudi has been a lengthy and complicated one. Bill has already been there for five days now. I, Warda on the other hand, am stuck in Canada for the moment. During our application, we unfortunately could not secure a job as a couple. Therefore, our backup plan was for each of us to find employment in the same city. As you can probably guesstimate, that plan flopped. I was offered several jobs in Riyadh while Bill was offered positions in Jeddah. Since it is way more complicated for me to bring my husband than it is for him to sponsor me; we have decided that Bill goes ahead and I join him later. I am in Toronto now, waiting for Bill to get his Iqama (residence). As we said in the previous post, this blog will contain snap shots of what it is like living in Saudi. But it will also have posts about the process of getting into Saudi. Bill will be doing daily entries about his experiences in Saudi. Some of those have already been written, and I just needed to post them.

Warda

Reasons for Moving to Saudi

Assalamu Alakuim/ Peace be upon all of you,

About four months ago, we, Warda (Canadian) and Bill (American) have been living in New Jersey, and have decided on making this one enormous change in our life. Prior to our marriage on the Christmas of 2010, Bill was laid off his job. So shortly after marriage, Bill found two jobs to make ends meet; working a 17hr shift. No kidding! And things were still, more than tight. We considered few possibilities. We knew that, as a family, we could not continue on living as we were. We considered moving to Canada, or perhaps Warda getting a job in Jersey. As we have always wanted to travel and live in far exotic places at one point in our life, we considered if perhaps with one stone, we can now kill two birds. As Muslims, Saudi was a big contender among the other countries we were considering. As teachers, Saudi was offering the best packages. Around $30k/year, health care, accommodations and flight, and many more that you can find yourself on the web. Warda already had her TESL certificate, so right away, we worked on Bill getting his certificate as well. With our BA`s and certificates, plus some prior teaching experience, we started applying for teaching positions in Saudi. During that process, many other expats` blogs and experiences have been an invaluable source of information. With our blog, we hope to do the same. We also like to keep our families up-to-date on our whereabouts and adventures. If you have any comments, questions or advice please feel free to contact us. We hope to hear from you J