Holy crap!! I've been here for three weeks now. (Editor's note: holy crap is either from the holy cow or the holy mackerel. It is assumed that the holy cow is the more likely suspect, as mackerel crap is really small, but studies continue).
Yesterday I decided to expand from my one room w/ bathroom into my much larger home... but it needs to be cleaned. I also wanted to clean the bathroom right next to the room in which I typically reside. However, I would need to seal off the light socket to avoid electrocution, and in the other rooms I would need to seal off the hole in the wall meant for the air conditioners (or more dust would continue to enter). For any project from this point on, I would require plastic garbage bags and (the American dream) duct tape!!
Ooooh, duct tape.
I walked to the nearest store to get my supplies. The garbage bags were easy, unfortunately I couldn't find duct tape, or any other kind of tape for that matter. Seriously, not even Scotch tape. What the heck? This would prove to be problematic as I do not know the word for tape in either Arabic or Bangla. Seriously, my Arabic is horrible, and what little Arabic that I do know is almost useless as there are few Saudis in Jeddah and this city, therefore, has a ridiculous slang. Case-in-point, "maa" is the Arabic word for water, but in Jeddah, all the foreigners say "moyah". What the hell is that? What's moyah? Ang God forbid I say maa' because they will look at me like I grew a second cranium. Even a simple word like "yes", they find a way to screw that up. The Arabic word for yes is "na'am", but not in Jeddah. Here they say "Aiwah"; are you friggin' kidding me? It's bad enough that I have to master my Arabic conversationally, but learning this slang to survive is like having to learn two separate languages on-the-spot.
Actually, I've been cheating a lot because I am fairly conversational in Bangla, and there are a LOT of Bangladeshi's here in Jeddah (I think they've been messing up the Arabic on me...). Anyway, knowing Bangla didn't help me a lick because I don't know the word for tape in Bangla. How the heck do you describe tape here? Or anywhere? Go ahead, stop reading this for a moment and think about how you would describe tape to someone who doesn't understand English. Now up the ante a bit and try explaining "duct tape" of all things.
What's that, you sympathize with me now?
Okay, so I grab this Bangladeshi guy (no really) I grabbed his shoulder and walked him with me) and showed him a tube of glue. I said (in English) "glue" and then I touched my index finger and thumb together quickly and slowly pulled them apart and said "sticky". So far he's with me. Then I put my index fingers and thumbs from both hands together and slowly pulled them apart and said "tape" and made a sticking motion with the phantom tape.
I must have grown a second cranium right there because I knew that confused look.
He tried walking away but I grabbed him again (I'm very hands-on) and I did the motions again. He was about to walk and then he stopped. I swear to God All-mighty that I saw a friggin' lightbulb pop over this dudes head when he ran over and pointed to a whole box full of masking tape and duct tape. Wow, good thing I had all that practice playing "Itsy-bitsy Spider" growing-up. I got lucky that there was duct tape there because I couldn't imagine going through that process again for the gray stuff, but I guess God had enough fun laughing at my expense for the day.
With this great feat I needed a nap. Later I went out and got two sconces (probably misspelled, but they are the lights that you can put on a wall). I also got some silicone and the gun to use it, a couple of curtain rods, a few towel racks, too. The problem is that I don't have a drill. Yeah, I remembered that I actually need to have a drill for all my concrete walls or my screws and nails ain't going nowhere. Meh, if I can't borrow one then I'll just buy one, whatever. This place is coming along just fine.
-- Bill,
No comments:
Post a Comment