Day 27 - September 28, 2011

I wonder if that whole "Mayan calendar, end-of-the-world" thingy is just in the America's? Whew! Sure dodged that bullett by moving to Saudi... LOSERS!!!

Okay, all kidding aside. Got paid today. It is such a good feeling, you know, getting paid. It's like, "Hey man, I know we beat the snot out of ya' and dragged ya through the mud, but here's a couple of bucks to tide you over. Go get yourself cleaned-up." Whatever, I got paid, yo!

I was told that I'd get my Iqama today. Heh heh, just the fact that I was told that I would get it today should have been a clear message that I would NOT get it today. I.B.M. That is that accronym that you have to remember in Saudi. It stands for the following:

I = Insha-Allah (God-willing you will get it tomorrow)

When that doesn't happen...

B = Bookrah (Tomorrow, come back tomorrow)

When THAT doesn't happen...

M = Ma salaat (After the next prayer)

When that, too, fails, get yer fightin' gloves on, cause it's gonna get messy.

So yeah, remember I.B.M., it is more than a forgotten computer company, it's a Saudi way of life. I was supposed to get paid four days ago, mind you. Once I get that Iqama, though, I actually become a real boy, just like Pinocchio. I kind of feel bad bringing her over, though. I mean, right now she's living the life with her mom and siblings, chilling in her home town, driving my car around, bumming money from the folks, just doing whatever. Guess what babe, things are about to change.

She's about to have to live in a huge apartment (much smaller than her house, though) where we have only one air-conditioner. Sleep on a single bed, for at least a month when I can get paid again. Eat food that we can make with hot water or in a rice-cooker. Clean the rest of this apartment with me. Start working again (heh heh, she thinks it's going to be easy working with these savages that Saudi's call children).

Oh yeah, things are about to change.

Message to my honey:

|Dear Wifey,
I am so sorry, in advance, about the COMPLETE change of life-style that you are about to face here. The last time you were in Jeddah you were just a kid, now you are all grown-up and you don't get to be the bad kid anymore, you get to babysit the bad kids. Every single one of these evil little devil-children will remind you of just how bad you were as a little girl, and maybe you will realize that karma really is a B%&@#. When you are not eating rice and grape leaves (for this first month), or some Ramen-noodle wanna-be, or flavorless, soul-sucking oatmeal, you may eat the one-Riyal falafals 'till you burst. Enjoy the cold showers (great during the day but not so much fun during the night) untill we get that hot water heater. Enjoy pouring your every drop of water from a jug that I bought down the street. Oh, have fun talking to our haris, who hates me! But fret not, my darling, for you have the next month to look forward to, when, Insha-Allah we will BOTH be getting paid, and then Bookrah we will have more money, and then Ma salaat we will have a better life. Just one looong, arduous, indignant, month. I love you, sweety.
-- Bill,